Halloween candy is out, Oktoberfest beers are for sale, fantasy football drafts are happening, and the 12th season of Masked Singer is only weeks away, so it looks like the end of summer, and the 2024 Summer Blockbuster Pool, has officially happened!
Now that Labor Day has come and gone, it’s time to look back at how some of the films fared, those that weren’t so fair, and find out what exactly were the final Top Five Films of the 2024 Summer Blockbuster Pool.
The “What Happened in August” Section
While nothing earth shattering happened in August, there were some hits to discuss…
- It Ends With Us will cross the $150 million mark in another week or two and shows again that people will come to see movies based on books about human drama and not just wizards, vampires, and spies.
And some flops to discuss…
- Borderlands was not able to cross the border to success losing almost $100 million. Ouch!
- The Crow reboot might as well have been “Quoth the Raven, ‘Nevermore’” after its dismal performance.
And some did about as well as expected…
- Trap was somewhere in the Twilight Zone of neither hit or flop where most M. Night films are lately, but at least he got to have a lot of Bring Your Daughter to Work days!
The Pretenders List
Many of these films thought they could be contenders, but one good punch (or several) kept them from being considered for the Top Five nomination.
- The month of May provided five big-budget films and they all were forgotten by June: The Fall Guy fell; Kingdom of the Planet of the Apes was dethroned; IF was left at the Conjunction Junction; Furiosa was a saga no one cared about; The Garfield Movie went over like a frozen lasagna.
- June had some fighters but a couple just bit: Horizon’s only light at the end of the tunnel was an oncoming train and Quiet Place: Day One needed to make some more noise.
- July really served the goods with three movies in the Top Five! The only non-event of July was Fly Me To The Moon getting its wings clipped.
And with that, because Monday was Labor Day, it’s time to acknowledge and congratulate the actual Top 5 Films of The 2024 Summer Blockbuster Pool!!!
#5. Bad Boys: Ride or Die - $193.6 million
I mean, I wouldn’t have believed it after seeing it opening weekend, but apparently the “let’s just let Martin Lawrence do whatever he wants because Will Smith is offering us nothing” formula really worked for people. More importantly, if we can get a spin-off series with Vanessa Hudgens, Cato from The Hunger Games, and the guy who plays Reggie (and only Reggie), I’d love to see that new crew of bad “boys.”
How did Warner Bros. sleep on this franchise for so long? It's like Alien: Romulus turning out to be good. Why was this so hard to do?! Country charm, big storms, fun soundtrack, a little bit of sciency gobbledygook about how diapers can absorb a tornado, and go! Nothing says breezy summer flick like Twisters.
If ever there’s been a series that’s just come and done it’s thing lately it’s Despicable Me and the Minions movies. You’re guaranteed $250 million to $370 million everytime. Good, bad, indifferent, the movies just make money. Maybe that’s the most despicable thing about them?
What started as an internet feud between Ryan Reynolds and Hugh Jackman became a love-letter to the pre-MCU marvel movies at 20th Century Fox. It’s a love story, baby, and they just said “yes.” With more Easter eggs than the Easter bunny, the latest MCU film may not have fixed anything with the MCU, but as Owl City and Carly Rae Jepson would say when you have f-bombing superheroes, “it’s always a good time.”
(Ugh, did I just make two song references that are over 12 years old?! I better throw an H-O-T-T-Ohh-G-O reference in to show I still know what music is like in 2024.)
Remember all those Deadspin “Disney is Dead” articles you’ve been reading the last few years? This was their Julia Roberts going back to that Beverly Hills store in Pretty Woman scene. “Big mistake. Big! Huge!” (Yikes, why do my references get older the later I stay up to write this?!) Anyhow, the MouseHouse did its damn thing this summer. Biggest animated movie of all-time, check. Biggest R-Rated movie of all-time, check. (Take that, Jesus! (aka, Passion of the Christ)). And now they’ve got Moana 2, Mufasa 1, and Captain America 4 lined-up. It’s like John Wick going, “Yeah, I’m thinking I’m back!”
