Thursday, April 24, 2025

2025 Summer Blockbuster Pool List

As always, if I forgot a Icelandic film about a cursed puffin or the 7th “Based on a true story no one cared about the first time they heard it” film of the year, no apologies. I’m just listing the contenders here (or at least movies I couldn’t resist saying something about). Let’s get on with it!!! 


May 2


Thunderbolts*
Marvel movies are back to opening the Summer Movie Pool!!! This one includes all the superheroes everyone loves like… Ghost and Taskmaster?! Alright, so this is Marvel’s attempted version of the Suicide Squad and these days we could all use a little fun. Please be fun*.


May 9


Clown in a Cornfield

Fight or Flight

Juliet & Romeo

Shadow Force

Uh, let’s just say none of these films are expecting to compete with Thunderbolts… or any other new Netflix/Prime/Apple+ streaming movie that weekend.


May 16

Final Destination: Bloodlines  
In the first of our 2000’s horror-film reboots we have the sixth Final Destination film. I don’t recall if the other FD films were ever a summer release, yet if this doesn’t perform well here, this may be Final Destination’s final destination. 


Hurry Up Tomorrow

The Weeknd and Jenna Ortega star in a nightmarish film that became the soundtrack for The Weeknd’s new album. Wait, what?! The movie is the soundtrack for the album? Sure, that checks.


May 23

Lilo & Stitch [Live-Action]
The good news is that there’s no way this film could do worse than the live-action Snow White that was released earlier this year. Well… almost no way. Let’s go for one more ride on that Hawaiian Roller Coaster Ride!

Mission: Impossible - The Final Reckoning

I think the only “final” thing about this film is that there will never be a “Part One” as part of a Mission: Impossible franchise again. This is not Dead Reckoning Part Two, I repeat, this is not Dead Reckoning Part Two. This is clearly The Final Reckoning. Why would anyone be confused?


May 30


Karate Kid: Legends
I feel like one of the only 80’s kids that’s never watched Cobra Kai. Still, as someone who’s watched both versions of The Karate Kid numerous times, I have no idea why this film is happening. That said, pay days for Jackie Chan and Ralph Macchio are never a bad thing, even if I’d rather they’d be for More Rumble in the Bronx and My Cousin Vinny Too.

June 6


From the World of John Wick: Ballerina

Even the Baba Yaga can get a little long in the tooth sometimes, so here comes another character from the John Wick universe to seek revenge. Hopefully, this one does involve canine murder. Woof.

The Life of Chuck

A Stephen King/Mike Flannigan collab that’s not a 10-part series on Netflix? Sign me up!


June 13


How to Train Your Dragon [Live-Action]  
Anything Disney can do, DreamWorks can copy too. Set your watches now for the countdown to Live-Action Minions.


June 20


28 Years Later

It looks like a film that hits hard. It might be harder than summer audiences want.


Pixar's Elio
It’s been awhile since the last original Pixar film “mega” hit. Coco was 2017 and Inside Out was 2015. Can Elio buck that trend or are we destined to just more Finding Monsters Inc Toy Stories?

June 27


F1 
Brad Pitt tries to do for F1 what Tom Cruise tried to do for Days of Thunder. Since Days is where Tom met Nicole Kidman, Brad’s girlfriend better keep an eye on his co-star.

M3GAN 2.0

The first M3GAN was surprisingly smarter in some of its themes than expected. Unsurprisingly, the 2.0 version looks to have none of that… so bring it on! 


July 2


Jurassic World: Rebirth  
I wouldn’t even want to give birth to a dinosaur the first time. Rebirthing it seems a lot worse. 

July 11


Superman  
It’s funny that my wife asked why we’re getting “another” Fantastic Four film when she didn’t ask why we’re getting another Superman film. Maybe it’s because we all know it’s been 45 YEARS since we’ve had a good Superman film (though I did enjoy Man of Steel more than most). 

July 18


I Know What You Did Last Summer

Here’s another 2000’s horror franchise trying to rebrand for a new generation. By this point, doesn’t everyone already know what they did last summer?


Smurfs Musical

I’ll just leave this one as is. Smurfs Musical. I think that says it all.


July 25  


The Fantastic Four: First Steps

Will these be the first steps toward making Marvel movies that matter? If they can’t get the FF right this time, it’s just not happening. Com’on, guys, do it for HERBIE. He deserves it. 


August 1


The Bad Guys 2

An animated sequel to an animated film? How novel. 


The Naked Gun

Leslie Nielson being replaced by Liam Neeson was not on my bingo card, but I’m all for it. Honestly, Liam’s already been being a little Lt. Drebin-esque in his last few action films anyway. Let’s make the laughs intentional this time.  


August 8  


Freakier Friday

How did they choose this as the Lindsey Lohan reunion film and not The Parent Trap?! It’s an outrage! Annie and Hallie as adults getting tricked by their kids… or maybe they switch again and they’re the ones tricking their kids… Who cares, that’s the way better film and premise. The nanny and the butler are still around. They send their kids to Janice’s summer camp. Meredith comes in with some crazy scheme to tear the sisters apart. It’s all perfect and… and… I’ve obviously thought about this way too much. 


August 15  


Nobody 2

Yup, we’ve definitely reached the end of the Summer Blockbuster Season when a sequel to a surprise COVID minor hit is hitting the screens. So sad I don’t have two more Kevin Costner Horizon movies to not see. Sniff sniff.

 

Monday, January 20, 2025

2024 Holiday Blockbuster Pool - Final Report

 The front yard inflatables are down, Valentine’s Day stuff is already in the stores, and today is ACTUALLY MLK Day, so that must mean the 2024 Holiday Blockbuster Pool has come to an end!


Not going to lie. It felt like a six-horse race where only five could win at the beginning of the pool and by the end it was only a five-horse race. That said, the placing of those horses made all the difference!


Of course, there can always be surprises and when studios spend a lot of money on movies like an anime Lord of the Rings or a Robert Zemekis/Tom Hanks project, you’d think maybe they knew what they were doing. Apparently not. 


Let’s give a “Bon voyage!” to the films that didn’t in 2024 before celebrate the true Top 5 of the Holiday Blockbuster Pool.


The “I Wouldn’t Say I’m Missing It, Bob” Section:


- Maybe people confused it with Conclave and were wondering why Ralph Fiennis wasn’t kicking more butt in his papel robe, but Liam Nesson’s Absolution movie was guilty of being forgotten. 


- Here wasn’t here or there or anywhere. People did not want to watch it with a fox, they did not want to watch it in a box. 


- I couldn’t even tell if Juror #2 was actually released in theaters or not because of the “amazing” Discovery Warner Bros. policy of thinking it’s better to lose money by NOT releasing movies than actually releasing them, but at least we know who’s guilty of that. 


- Elevation was a fine Quiet Place knock-off kind of film that’s marketing was so quiet it seems no one knew it even came out.  


The “Surprising Successes” Section:


- It may not have been THE Best Christmas Pageant Ever, but a $40 million gross on a low-budget family film is certainly up there. The BEST part is how Box-Office Mojo lists its genre as “Adventure Comedy Drama Fantasy Mystery Romance.” Uh, I could spend all day trying to think of films that could reasonably fit all six of these categories and I guarantee you The Best Christmas Pageant Ever would not be one of them.


- A Complete Unknown did a great job of giving people something else to see than singing lions and multicolored aliens over the holidays and is at $58 million so far. Now if only the real Bob Dylan could have closed captions under him when he spoke, all of our lives would’ve been better for it.


- The real star of the onslaught of Oscar bait films released on Christmas Day was Nosferatu! It’s already at $90 million and will certainly surpass $100 million before its run is over. Outside of the first two Scream films, I can’t recall too many “hit” horror films over the holidays… much less horror indie films. Maybe we can just make it a rule that Willem Dafoe has to be in all holiday-released horror films, there’d be more hits.  

   

The “And That’s The Bottom Line Because Stone Cold Said So” Section: 


- I mean, what it in the what was The Lord of the Rings: The War of the Rohirrim?! There’s a current LOTR hit series on Amazon Prime. There’s the legacy of SIX LOTR films that have grossed billions. This film MADE $9.1 million… TOTAL!!! I can’t even connect the disconnect that made anyone think this was a good idea or people wanted to see it. 


- How much must The War of Rohirrim have sucked that Kraven the Hunter is mentioned second here. The curious and those hoping for a “So Bad It’s Good” movie at least propelled this final atrocity of the Sonyverse to $25 million. As to its legacy, I think only Russell Crowe’s aggro Russian mob boss performance will be studied as to how to make everyone in the audience want to punch you in the face every moment you’re on screen. 


- Really, as much as we don’t want to live in a world where making $97 million is not a success… It kind of is when your film cost $250 million to make. Red One hoped to be the next Jumanji and set-up a whole world with follow-up films and jokes and fun for families for years to come. It just didn’t pull it off. Mopey, serious Rock is the least interesting Rock persona and he needed way more than just Chris Evans to help lighten the load here.  


And now, we’ve finally arrived… Here are the Top Five Films of the 2024 Holiday Blockbuster Pool!!!


#5. Gladiator II - $172.1 million

Never let your main character’s death in the first movie (oops, Spoiler Alert) stop you from making a sequel. Who cares if the plot is like post-it notes stuck together in out of order ways, it’s all about the battles and the fights and this had plenty of them. No one said go see Ben Her for the pensive drama… It’s all about the chariot race! I can’t wait for Gladiator III in… checking calendar… 2048. Holy crap, that’s like just a year before Blade Runner 2049! We are in the strangest of timelines.


#4. Mufasa: The Lion King - $209.8 million

A slow start didn’t stop this lion from starting to roar! The Tik Toks, the social medias, the interwebs (I don’t know about any of this stuff) and the rest got people to give this film another chance after opening weekend and it’s been singing ever since. I think it’s likely it will pass Sonic 3 by the time all is said and done, but this is MLK Day and that’s when we say this pool is done, so it’ll have to settle for #4 in the pool but #3 in our hearts. 

 


#3. Sonic The Hedgehog 3 - $218.9 million

I think the biggest takeaway from another smashing success in this Sonic series is where do we put Jim Carrey’s performances. Can he be nominated twice for Best Supporting Actor for both his roles as Ivo Robotnik and Gerald Robotnik? Do they combine into one Best Actor nod? Has anyone ever played both the grandson and grandfather in the same film? Does this impact (and should it) how we judge any actor performing multiple roles in a single film? Like they were great as the bad sister, but too milktoast as the good sister. I had a whole hour and 50 minutes to think about these questions (and more!) during the runtime as I sat through this film with my nephew. The only question I didn’t have to ask because the answer was self-evident: Will there be a Sonic 4?   

  

#2. Moana 2 - $445.1 million

While I think most people agree that Moana 2 is no Moana 1, the box-office results say Moana 1 was no Moana 2! Seriously, Moana 2 has made $200 million MORE than Moana 1. That’s a huge increase and it’s clearly Disney’s biggest musical hit since Frozen 2 in 2019. Sure, the songs were meh, but the animation looked beautiful, the kakamora coconut monsters were adorable, and Moana’s like a superhero now. Look, my wife once made the mistake (she was banned from ever picking up movies at RedBox unsupervised again) of bringing home Cats Vs. Dogs 2: The Revenge of Kitty Galore. Moana 2 is a thousand times better than Cats Vs. Dogs 2: The Revenge of Kitty Galore and I’m fine dying on that hill.     


#1. Wicked: Part One - $465.5 million

If you stop to think about it, the biggest musical of the 21st Century should be the biggest hit musical movie of the 21st Century. It just doesn’t always work that way… but it certainly did this time! Wicked performed and outperformed many expectations on its way to becoming the third biggest movie of the year. The casting, staging, set design, cinematography, etc. all worked to bring the musical to life in a whole new way and still hit all the right notes. We’ve now had back-to-back live action musicals top the Holiday Blockbuster Pool (Wonka was just last year and yet that feels five years ago already). We might even make it three in a row with Wicked: Part Two being released in 2025. We will save that tale for another time, however, and let Elphaba and “Ga”linda carry the crown they deserve for besting the 2024 Holiday Blockbuster Pool! 


Monday, December 23, 2024

Sonic Speeds Past Mufasa - Weeks 5 & 6

 When it comes to family films, it used to always be every studio played second fiddle to Disney. For every Ice Age or Kung Fu Panda franchise, it always felt like there was another Disney film making even more that same year. That's started to crumble a bit in the past few years when Sings, Marios, and Wonkas made bigger splashes than pricey Disney flops. The Mouse House seemed to be turning the tide this year with Inside Out 2 and Moana 2, but now something else is seeming floppy again. 

In the battle of video game characters versus animation icons, Sega definitely drew first blood. Sonic the Hedgehog 3 ran into theaters with a $60.1 million debut. While this is down a little from Sonic 2’s $72 million start two years ago, holiday movies often play longer over the school break then needing to score all their money in the first weekend. Sonic 3 seems set to race into the top 5 and could end up with $180-$200 million. 


Meanwhile, Mufasa: The Lion King had a thorn stuck in its paw with a $35 million opening. Despite all the pedigree and amazing look that the first “live action” Lion King movie had, this origin story seemed to have no one asking for it. All those people who flocked to Moana 2 seemed to not care at all for Lion King Who. 


Again, it’s holiday break time so movies can flourish longer if they find their audience. Both Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle and Greatest Showman didn’t “start” well but then kept going weekend after weekend. There’s time for Mufasa to rebound or for Sonic to explode even more. Still, Lin-Manuel Miranda must be thinking he scored for the wrong film when Moana 2 is a smash and Mufasa seems lost. 


Two very “other” films came out in week 5 that seemed to have nothing going for them and, truth be told, nothing did go for them. 



Kraven The Hunter had the lowest opening ever for a Sony semi-related Spider-Man movie spinoff and the use of so many words to describe these films probably explains why there’s so little interest. With only $11 million in its first three days, that may have been more than they paid Russell Crowe to play a Russian mob boss based in Londan who doesn’t trust anyone who doesn’t love Tony Bennett. It was a very complicated role!


On the other side of branding nonsense was Warner Bros. creating an anime version of Middle Earth. The Lord of the Rings: The War of the Rohirrim movie was completely obliterated at the box-office battlefield with an trauma-inducing $4.5 million debut. Both Kraven and LotR films fell more than 70% in their second weekends. There will be no “maybe things can get better for them over the school break” reprise for these lost souls. 


As for the other films, Wicked finally made more over the weekend than Moana 2 since they’ve been competing head-to-head for four weeks. With Wicked already having a $25 million lead, it seems hard to fathom that Moana can catch Elphaba at this point. What can she say except you’re welcome.  


The Top Five If Today Was MLK Day:

#1. Wicked: Part One - $384.6 million

#2. Moana 2 - $359.2 million

#3. Gladiator II - $154 million 

#4. Red One - $95.4 million 

#5. Sonic The Hedgehog 3 - $60.1 million


Wednesday, December 11, 2024

Moana 2 Erupts Over Thanksgiving Weekend - Weeks 3 & 4

When typing out the movies coming out this season a month ago I had no idea the Biggest Thanksgiving Weekend of All-Time was on the menu. I was expecting chicken poppers and fries and that would’ve been fine.

Instead Moana 2 defied expectations (and lackluster songs) to have one of the biggest openings ever for an animated film. Debuting to a mind-blowing $225 million five-day haul, The Rock finally stuck his “Executive Producer” credit on something that actually worked. Maybe Black Adam should’ve been a musical!


Meanwhile, Wicked continued to be a wicked-smart investment for Universal Pictures. The musical that does have great songs performed well. The yellow brick road led the film to another $118 million over that five-day period. 



Gladiator II may have ended-up at the kids table over Thanksgiving dinner, yet the swords and sandals tale still handled itself with $44 million. Considering the biggest star in the film wasn’t even one of the actual gladiators, Warner Bros. should be content that the franchise has been revived to the point that they can now make a MAX show to prolong the brand. That seems to be the only thing movies mean to them these days.   


One week later, movie-goers only wanted seconds of their favorite dishes. Moana 2 sailed in $52 million. Wicked flew to $36 million, and Gladiator II fought for $12 million. These are clearly the three films that are drawing a line in the sand and daring other films to pass them. We’ll see if they can keep cooking or if a new ghost kitchen pops up to steal all their thunder.


The Top Five If Today Was MLK Day:

#1. Wicked: Part One - $322.1 million

#2. Moana 2 - $299.3 million

#3. Gladiator II - $132.8 million 

#4. Red One - $85.8 million 

#5. n/a


Wednesday, November 27, 2024

A Wicked Weekend For Wicked & Gladiator II - Week 2

[Opening with a side note: Was at the theater last night and it was packed at 10:30pm on a Tuesday night. We were trying to get tickets to Wicked but every screening was filled so we had to “settle” for Moana 2’s opening night. The Rock can sing as well as Jeff Goldblum, right? Right?! Anyhow, it was $7 Tuesday at our local theater, but still… To see a packed theater in the middle of a busy week felt nice. It’s like movies still matter… as long as those movies aren’t Red One.]  


Wicked came, Wicked saw, and Wicked conquered. The long-delayed, rumored, will-they/won’t-they musical adaptation finally hit the big screen and audiences were ready. 


Wicked: Part One opened with a whopping $112.5 million debut. It was by far the biggest opening ever for a Broadway Musical film adaptation, topping Into The Woods $31 million, and it’s the biggest live-action musical opening ever unless you consider the CGI animals in the 2019 The Lion King remake as live-action. I mean, Cynthia Erivo is as green in real life as Beyonce is a lioness, so I could see the argument.  


Actually, I forgot that the live-action Beauty & The Beast did open with $175 million in 2017, so that certainly is more of a one-to-one comparison of live-action musicals, even though that was a remake of a film with a 25-year Disney fanbase. Regardless, it was a huge debut for a film people just weren’t sure how well it would do. Straight from Broadway films have mixed results and even the “hits” are more subdued than Disney’s often blockbuster results. Maybe this will replace The Wizard of Oz as the film folks watch on an annual basis around the holidays. 


In the other corner of the box-office this weekend was Gladiator II. It was clearly in the Oppenheimer role against Barbie this time around, yet just like Oppenheimer, it did very well for itself with a solid $55 million opening. There’s nothing else like Gladiator II coming out over the holidays, so it may keep turning the turnstiles for those folks seeking breaking bones instead of breaking into song. Hopefully, none of this is giving Russell Crowe ideas about turning the first Gladiator into a musical starring himself, but I wouldn’t put it past him.  


Sadly, as two new films entered, an old standby had to take a seat. Nothing sat more than Red One. With a 59% drop and a $52.8 million ten-day total, it seems like a lot of people will not smell what The Rock is cooking in this movie. Again, it may have a second-life on streamers and annual Holiday movie marathons, but this go-round was the fruitcake someone brings to your party that just sits there untouched. Sure, it tasted great in the 1700’s when the main food taste was gruel, but we have better options now.   


The Top Five If Today Was MLK Day:

#1. Wicked: Part One - $112.5 million

#2. Gladiator II - $55 million 

#3. Red One - $52.8 million 

#4. n/a

#5. n/a


Thursday, November 21, 2024

‘Red One’ Feels Blue - Week 1

Anytime you can start (well, two weeks late) a Blockbuster Pool with The Rock, you should be in good hands like Allstate. Instead, we might have a case of the butterfingers, and not the ones nobody better lay a finger on. 

Red One debuted with a $32.1 million opening weekend. This may be amazeballs for a film like Violent Night that had a $20 million budget, but for a film reportedly costing… checking notes and picking jaw up off the floor… $250 MILLION, that is a lot of coal in the stocking. Blockbusters typically get about a third of their total box-office gross in the first weekend and that puts Red One on pace for a lackluster $95 million. I hope no one blames this on Lucy Lui!

Besides, if you want to live in the Egg Nog is half-full world, Jumanji: Welcome To The Jungle also had an opening in the $30 millions and ended-up as a $400 million megahit. 


Still, that film came-out during a crowded Christmas week release weekend that included a Star Wars movie and it had more time to find its audience. Red One had zero competition this weekend and has Elphaba and Maximus right on its heels. That’s not even mentioning Dwayne Johnson fighting himself the following weekend in Moana 2. 


Heck, at this point Red One might not even make Freeforms' annual 25 Days of Christmas movie schedule. Which, of course, is fine because that just leaves more time for Prep & Landing and Arthur Christmas. That's so tinsel! 


All that said, even if Red One only gets to $95 million, it’s going to take other films to knock it off the Top Five for it not to be here at the end. Can Red One keep its cool all pool long or will it melt as the competition rises? Time will tell. 


The Top Five If Today Was MLK Day:

#1. Red One - $32.1 million (don’t forget the .1… it’s very important!)

#2. n/a

#3. n/a

#4. n/a

#5. n/a

 

*****


Extra Bonus Section

 

As per the Week 1 tradition here are my esteemed, extremely well thought-out and perpetually doomed to fail 2024 Holiday Blockbuster prognostications. Remember, I’m the guy who last year thought Renaissance: A Film By Beyonce could be as big as Taylor Swift's Eras film. Genius!


So here’s what I really think will happen...


#1. Moana 2 - I can barely even remember what happened in the first Moana as it wasn’t one of my favorites, but it definitely showed How Far It’d Go by drilling that song into our heads for six months straight. For those who did love it, I’m assuming they’ll be more excited about a direct sequel to a film they liked than a prequel to a film that came out 30 years ago (Yeah, I’m talking about you Mufasa!). I have the Disney machine pegged as topping this pool (Kind of like they did with Black Panther and Avatar a couple years ago) and I’m going with Moana 2 as my 1 (because that makes sense) and Mufasa as 2.      

 


#2. Mufasa - I think there are more Lion King fans in the world, as two films and a hit broadway show would attest, yet a completely new prequel/musical seems like more of a slow burn than an immediate hit to me. Like last year’s Wonka or The Greatest Showman, fans have more of a wait and see than “Buying this on Day 1” vibe that Wicked and Moana 2 have. Maybe I’m wrong (never!), but I’m betting on the likely thing versus the maybe thing.        

 


#3. Wicked: Part One - If the biggest musical of the 21st Century isn’t a hit movie I don’t even know what we’re doing with musical movies anymore. The cast seems great, the sets look phenomenal, just take everyone’s money. The only setback could be pushback from people not getting their full experience in one sitting. Waiting till 2025 for Act II is a long, long intermission… but at least I’ll have time to get through the bathroom line!   

 


#4. Gladiator II - The good news is the marketing is making this feel like something people want instead of just a money grab. If Ridley Scott doesn’t mess this up with “origins of life” philosophies like Prometheus, we should be in great shape. Give us some cool battles, Denzel chewing scenery in a toga, and overly dramatic speeches and we’re all in.   


#5. Sonic The Hedgehog 3 - It was basically a choice between this and Red One as my #5. None of the other films even looked like something that could get to $100 million grosses. I went with Sonic as the known franchise quantity. Sonic 2 made $190 million and even if this trends down, a likely $150 million total felt a whole lot better than betting on a Rock Vanity Film. Oh wait, did I say that out loud? Are we allowed to say that yet? Isn’t it in our contract that everyone has to say everything he touches turns to gold? Oh well, I guess I’ll just be zipping on my Zoa energy drinks from Grocer’s Outlet while Prime is flying off the shelves everywhere else. 


Good luck, everyone!


Sunday, October 27, 2024

2024 Holiday Blockbuster List

As always, if I forgot some Oscar-bait Finnish film that’ll make three bucks and get 14 Golden Globe nominations, sue me. I’m just listing the contenders here (or at least movies that have a wide release). Let’s get on with it!!! 


November 1 


Absolution

Remember when we used to start movie pools with blockbuster Marvel movies? Now it’s with the every-six-months Liam Neeson action movies. Here he plays someone wronged and does something about it… I guess. I haven’t kept up lately, but that’s been the general theme for about 15 years now. 



Here

Director Robert Zemekis returns with another experimental idea: Let’s film the same living room over 100 years and see what happens with the people in this family. When those people are Tom Hanks and Robin Wright, you have our attention. If the living room was mine where I’m just flipping around Worst Cooks in America, Masked Singer, and Crime Scene Kitchen on TV, most people are going to just pass. 



Juror #2

Someone tried to say this could be Clint Eastwood’s last movie. Couldn’t you have said that about every Clint Eastwood movie? Still, if anyone’s still making movies into their 100’s, it’s that guy. 



November 8


The Best Christmas Pageant Ever

Judy Greer leads this ensemble cast through a Christmas pageant gone bonkers as the “wrong” kids in the neighborhood get involved. Thankfully, it’s the season where the wrong things can be made right and we can all learn lessons along the way. Wait, did I just write this screenplay?!



Elevation

Anthony Mackie fighting giant monsters in the post-apocalyptic Rocky Mountains? Uh, yeah! Sign me up. This could be the next Godzilla Minus Nothing. 




November 15 


Red One

Dwayne Johnson and Chris Evans are exactly the superhero team we need to save Christmas this holiday season. Hopefully, this hits on the quirky Jumanji vibes of The Rock’s previous family-fun hits and not his Tooth Fairy misses.  


November 22 


Gladiator II AND Wicked !!!

Wow, talk about a Monday Night Football vs. Dancing With The Stars showdown! In one corner we have a, um, either a highly anticipated or 24-years too late sequel to the testosterone-filled Gladiator movie.

In the other corner we have,
hmm, the film adaptation of the most beloved musical in the 21st century but only part of it. Well, Part One of it, to be specific. It is clearly the biggest box-office battle since Barbenheimer and theaters can only hope it ends as successful for both.   



November 27


Moana 2

The sequel to the smash animated hit splashes down over Thanksgiving weekend. Lions, Cowboys, and Maui, oh my!


December 6


Uh, let’s just say a lot of smaller films are likely trying to do smaller things this weekend. I’ll save you the trouble and just move on.


December 13 


Kraven the Hunter (+ IMAX)

I left the “+ IMAX” here because I love how studios think they can trick us into seeing a movie because it’s also in IMAX. Like, we’re just sitting at home going “I think that movie’s going to be a piece of crap, but it’s in IMAX, so let’s pay even more money for tickets.” Regardless, Sony’s goal to make movies to keep their Spider-Man license continues by making movies that do not include Spider-Man. Genius. 

 


The Lord of the Rings: The War of the Rohirrim

If you ever wondered how Peter Jackson’s Lord of the Rings vision would look in anime, you now have your answer. If you ever wondered how many Lord of the Rings fans wanted to see a Lord of the Rings film in anime, you’ll find out the answer on December 13. 


December 20


Mufasa: The Lion King

The remake/sequel-machine that’s been Disney lately is now making a sequel to the live-action remake of The Lion King. I mean, sure, we can all agree that Simba’s kind of a goober and Mufasa’s really the best king in The Lion King. Does that mean he needed to get his own movie? Do we learn how Scar actually got his scar? Do we get to see Pumbaa when he was actually a young warthog? Maybe we did need this prequel. 

 

Sonic the Hedgehog 3

Keanu Reeves lends his voice as Shadow in the latest Sonic The Hedgehog movie. Will he be John Wick-Shadow, Neo-Shadow, Ted-Shadow, or, hopefully, Duke Caboom, Canada’s Greatest Stuntman-Shadow? I find it really interesting that two films both aimed at families are opening the same weekend. Does Sonic really not fear Mufasa or does the King pay no mind to hedgehogs? 


December 25 


Oddly, there’s not a big “Christmas Day Film” this year. No Les Miz, Sherlock Holmes, or Django Unchained. It’s another list of smaller, trying to get Oscar buzz movies. About the only one that seems to have momentum is A Complete Unknown which is the Timothée Chalamet as Bob Dylan movie… and maybe the Robert Eggers remake of Nosferatu. Good luck with this mess!


Spidey Explodes As Odyssey Continues to Float - Weeks 13 & 14

Remember all that “super hero fatigue” we hear about when super hero movies underperform at the box-office? What are we supposed to say when...