As always, if I forgot some Oscar-bait film that’ll make three bucks and get 14 Golden Globe nominations, sue me. I’m just listing the contenders here (or at least movies that have a wide release). Let’s get on with it!!!
November 10
The Marvels
What could be more of a Marvel movie than a Marvel movie actually called The Marvels?! No one questions the questionable quality of the MCU post-Endgame, yet the films still tend to do well. Will the same happen here where we have not one but THREE marvelous heroines?
November 17
The Hunger Games: The Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes
It’s a prequel to the blockbuster trilogy of books and quadrilogy of movies of The Hunger Games. It’s a little weird to make a movie that we know can’t end well because things obviously weren’t going well when we started the original series. As long as we can find a way to get Elizabeth Banks as Effie and Prim’s cat to make a cameo, I’m in!
A Takia Waititi comedy about the biggest losing soccer team in FIFA history. I saw the trailer and couldn’t stop smiling. Can you win an Academy Award for Best Making You Smile Trailer? I know the movie Smile would not have won in that category.
Thanksgiving
Famed horror director (I’m not going to go with “acclaimed”) Eli Roth brings to life the Thanksgiving movie based on his fake trailer from the Grindhouse movies that Quentin Tarantino and Robert Rodriguez made in 2007. I hope this movie is a success only so Michael Myers doesn't have to keep hiding-out for a whole year before killing people on Halloween. A month off seems much more manageable.
Trolls Band Together
Of all the movies about singing trolls performing cover versions of popular songs, this is now the third of them. Well done, everybody. You did it!
November 22
Ridley Scott directs Joaquin Phoenix in the titular role. There’s no truth to the rumor that acclaimed (he deserves it) method actor Joaquin had part of his spine removed to shrink two inches to be the actual height of Napoleon, but mostly because I just made that up. Instead, they just used that new Google Pixel phone doohickey to push him two inches lower than everyone else in every scene.
Disney’s Wish
The movie’s title provides its own intentions. It’s Disney’s “wish” to have an animated theatrical hit for “the first time in forever.” Ever since Frozen 2 they’ve been “into the unknown.”
December 1
No, not an American follow-up to Godzilla vs. Kong. This is the 30th Japanese Godzilla movie. Yes, more movies are in that series than James Bond, Star Wars, and Police Academy. Take a bow, big fella!
Renaissance: A Film By Beyonce
I used to think concert movies played to mostly empty theaters but then Tay-Tay happened. Can Queen B repeat the magic or will the only five attendees be her, Jay, Blue Ivy and the twins?
Silent Night
I thought this was another attempt to make a Violent Night-type movie. Instead, John Woo’s directing a mostly “silent movie” action film about a father avenging his family against a ruthless gang on Christmas Eve. So, you’re telling me there’s not a drunk Santa throwing-up in the first five minutes of this one?
December 15
Wonka
We still have yet to get a Charlie and the Great Glass Elevator movie, but we’re now getting a musical prequel to Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. This sounds like something those naughty candymakers Prodnose, Slugworth, and Fickelgruber would’ve come up with. Good luck, Timothée Chalamet. I’m glad you’re in the hands of the director of the greatest film of all-time, Paddington 2.
December 22
Aquaman and the Lost Kingdom
Aquaman and the Lost Movie seems to be the more apropos title. This movie was supposed to be released last Holiday Season, had a fan revolt that wanted Amber Heard removed from the flick, and it will officially mark the end of the DCU “SnyderVerse.” But hey, at least AMC Theater fans can finally see Nicole Kidman in a movie and not just before it!
Migration
Illumination Animation has spent more time telling us about their other hit movies (Despicable Me, Minions, The Grinch, Secret Life of Pets) in the trailer for this film than about why we should go see this one. Not a great sign, but animated movies and holiday breaks usually work out just fine.
December 25
George Clooney directs (but doesn’t star) in this movie about an American crew team competing in the Berlin Olympic games in 1936. I hope this turns out better than Clooney’s Leatherheads film about football players in the 20’s.
The Color Purple
It’s a star-studded movie-version of the hit Broadway musical… based on the star-studded movie of the hit book. Will this be a hit like Le Miz or an oops like Dear Evan Hanson?
Ferrari
Michael Mann’s first film since the “blink and you missed it” Blackhat in 2015. Here he tells the story of the Ferrari family in the 50’s as they’re trying to avoid bankruptcy by winning races and becoming the iconic brand they are today. So, it’s like House of Gucci with cars and Ford vs. Ferrari without Ford. Boom!
