As always, if I forgot some Oscar-bait film that’ll make three bucks and get 14 Golden Globe nominations, sue me. I’m just listing the contenders here (or at least movies that have a wide release). Let’s get on with it!!!
November 11
Most people forget that Black Panther 1 was the highest grossing MCU movie ever until Avengers: Endgame. It was even third-all time behind Star Wars: The Force Awakens and Avatar until Endgame, Spider-Man: No Way Home, and Top Gun: Maverick were released. Wow, those $24 Dolby Cinema seats AMC is charging are really adding up! Anyhow, does this sequel have any chance of climbing back to those original heights or is it like when the Spice Girls named their last album “Forever.” Gulp.
November 18
Anna Taylor Joy and Ralph Fiennes star in this “black comedy horror film” (now, that’s not something you read everyday) where the rich elite are on “the menu” for the staff to kill and torture. I’m pretty sure this is what anyone who’s ever been on Hell’s Kitchen has wanted to do with Gordon Ramsey.
She Said
A biopic about the reporters who uncovered and victims who came forward to bring down former Hollywood producer Harvey Weinstein. A very important film, much like the movie Spotlight, yet you may not want to pencil this one in for “date night.”
November 23
Another biopic (tis the season). This one deals with two of the Navy’s most famous fighter pilots during the Korean war. One came from a life of privilege and turned down Harvard to serve his country. Another became the first black aircraft carrier pilot and defended a nation that never treated him as an equal. Has the Top Gun revival gotten filmgoers ready for historical aerial dogfighting?
Disney is definitely embracing the strange with their latest animated film. A family of explorers travel to someplace that’s like a mixture of Salvador Dali and 1920’s sci-fi comics. Will this get their “theatrical released” films back on track or have families just learned to wait two months to watch it on Disney+?
Bones and All
I’m not even sure how to describe this one and I’ve seen the trailer before every horror film in the last three months. Think of it as young love meets vampires who are more like cannibals, and they have to decide whether they can forge a savage-less path together or give in to their deadly impulses. Merry Christmas, everybody!
The Fablemans
Usually saying “A Steven Spielberg” film means something, but after last year’s West Side Story flop, it’s hard to tell anymore. Though not technically a “biopic,” it’s a semi-autobiographical story of young Steven as he grew to love movies as a kid. In this case, the name’s been changed to Sammy Fableman. I mean, look, I know Snoopy’s already taken the name Joe Cool, but com’on, Steven. If you could change your name to anything, Sammy Fableman doesn’t even make the top 100!
(Choose This At Your Own Risk!)
Glass Onion: A Knives Out Mystery
Yes, the sequel to the Top Five film from 2019, however it only has a one week window in 600 theaters before it debuts on Netflix December 23. Could it make enough in one week to make the Top Five this year? That's another mystery for Detective Benoit Blanc to solve, but I’ll let someone choose the movie if they’d like to.
December 2
People always debate whether Die Hard is a Christmas movie. What if instead of Nakatomi Tower, a group of thieves did a home invasion at a mansion? And, what if instead of an off-duty cop as our only hope, we have the actual Santa Claus played by Hopper from Stranger Things? Well, then you’d have a Christmas movie!
December 9
The Whale
The tale (tail?) of a morbidly obese man played by Brendan Fraser trying to reconnect with his teenage daughter was a hit at the Cannes festival. Can Darren Arronofsky’s film sell tickets and not just receive praise from critics?
December 16
It’s only been 13 YEARS since the last Avatar film, so you better get in line now for the third one opening in 2035. You think Wakanda Forever has pressure, Avatar 1 WAS the highest grossing film of all-time when it came out. What could The Way of Water possibly do for an encore?! James Cameron has spent almost as much time on this as Axl Rose did for the Guns N’ Roses album Chinese Democracy. Let’s hope this turns out better for James than it did for Axl.
December 21
I Wanna Dance With Somebody
I wanna dance with a biopic that loves me! It will be fascinating to see where this Whitney Houston film goes. As joyous and rapturous as her music and artistry was, so sad and low were the pits she fell into. Do we get both sides? Do we want both sides? How will I know if this film really loves me?
This is just the year of way-delayed sequels. The first Puss in Boots film came out in 2011, meaning ten-year old fans then are pounding White Claws at frat parties now. Don’t get me wrong, we could use some more kids films in theaters… Yet is this the film families will flock too over the holidays?
December 23
The latest film from the director of Whiplash and La La Land is set in the Hollywood of the 20’s… The 1920’s, that is. With a who’s who cast that includes Brad Pitt, Maggie Robbie, Tobey Maguire and Jean Smart, the trailer promises spectacle, outlandishness, oh… and an over three-hour runtime. Maybe that’s what caused the fall of Babylon?
